Where Can I Find That?

As the flu takes hold of my body and keeps me as a hostage in my apartment on probably 5 of the most beautiful days so far this year I am left with nothing to do but sleep, watch movies, watch TV, sleep, online shop, and sleep some more.

So while I was doing a little wardrobe update online (I mean eventually I have to be healthy enough to leave the white walls of my apartment and join society again right?) I thought to myself, "I have a lot of dresses, but I hardly ever wear them, that's a shame." This thought was quickly followed by, "OH, a new dress, that would make me feel better!" I think that the flu takes all logic from your brain and stomps on it daily, that must be where the awful headaches come from. So, I looked and I looked, but nothing was really whetting my appetite for a dress that I knew I didn't really need, but definitely wanted. Then I remembered the dress that I wanted!Alas, the germ warfare takeover has made Internet searching a weak spot for me since I am too tired to type for too long, or to look at the screen for too long. So I send out a mission to all of you out there listening (and since I have only been communicating through my phone recently, I really hope there is someone out there listening, it is very lonely being sick in your studio apartment). Where or where did Bethenny get that dress that she wore to the reunion show? I am obsessed with it. It was such a cute color and I loved the layered look of it, for those of you that know me personally this should not come as a shock, I love layering.

While you are all feverishly searching and I just fight off my fever, let's talk about that reunion show. During the RH of Orange County reunion Lynne did a lot to make up for her ditsy persona on the show, so much so in fact that I believed that it was editing that made her look this way. So I thought there must be some hope for Kelly, right? I mean she didn't start off so bad...she did end up WAY bad though.

So, what did this reunion show do for her? Absolutely NOTHING! I didn't think it was possible, but she ended up making herself look even worse and crazier. Each housewife seemed to have a major problem with her, which wasn't so evident on the show but clear during the reunion. What is with that lady? I mean, does she really think saying "So and so is a beautiful lady," would really win the chilly hearts of the housewives, let alone millions of viewers who didn't even love to hate her, but instead just hate her? She might be certifiable...which leads me to believe that she will be back next season. Reality TV loves their villains, but to be honest, watching Kelly was just stressful and tiring and I am not sure that I can watch another season of that, and that is NOT the flu talking. Although had I watched her while I had the flu, I am quite certain it would have induced a stress coma.

"Maybe I Should Move Out West..."

Um...I haven't looked at a map lately, but I was pretty sure that California was on the west coast, right? Well either Spencer and Heidi do not live in California anymore, or Spencer needs a geography lesson.

When Spencer met Heidi's gun toting father he decided that he needed to move out west where he could beat up any guy to "look out for his family". It's the "code of the west" according to Heidie's dad. (I thought it was the code of the mafia, but I am a NY girl so what do I know?) Of course Spencer would get along with someone who believes that God invented the Colt 45 so that guys like Spencer would treat his daughter right, I mean doesn't Spencer believe almost the same thing. Spencer thinks that Colt 45 Malt Liquor was invented by God so that guys like him could cheat on girls like Heidi? (If you don't remember, it doesn't really count right? Stacey, can you weigh in on this?)

But who knows? Maybe Spencer has just finally realized that the living in the middle of the ocean with the sharks would not only make him happiest, but everyone else as well and he doesn't need a lesson in 5th grade American geography.

Confessions of a Compulsive Liar

There is something strangely intriguing about a compulsive liar. It's strange how someone who lies every once in a while is seen as a bad person who can never be trusted again. A person that you despise and commonly refer to as a deceitful person. Yet, however, a compulsive liar seems only to be put on this earth to entertain. Now, I admit, it's obvious to see the distinction. With a every-once-in-a-while liar you never know if you are going to get the truth, therefore forever breaking down your trust. They are risky people to be around because you are unaware whether or not their actions for that day are going to be full of malice and be hurtful. On the other hand, a compulsive liar is nothing if he is not consistent. You are already under the impression that nothing that will leave this person's mouth is to be trusted, therefore you never have to pose the question, "Will I be able to trust what so and so says today?" It also seems strangely refreshing...stay with me here, I know most people are not fans of compulsive liars, but we do tend to be fans of those who are consistent. We have to give the C.L. credit, he does stay on a straight and narrow path.

Coach on survivor is one C.L. that we loved to watch. His stories on this season charmed us, simply because he believed them to be true. There in lies the scariest, but what I find the most fascinating, part of the C.L.. To themselves they actually believe all the lies are true, so therefore, theoretically, aren't they telling the truth?

I used to know a C.L. who's sole mission everyday was to tell another fantastical story to which there couldn't possibly be any truth. As annoying as it could be to hear of adventures which never occurred you had to give him credit for coming up with the stories that he told, an imagination like that is hard to find in an adult. Yes, at first it was annoying, I mean, did he actually think that we were all so stupid that we believed his stories? However, once I found out that the other people that were around him daily didn't in fact buy into his tales, it became an interesting part of my day. It was a bit like being back in kindergarten where we would have story time, although many of his stories included bodily injury and I am quite sure Mrs. Anderson would not have approved of such language, but nevertheless they became entertaining. If C.L.s weren't entertaining there wouldn't be a place for people like Coach or Jonny Fairplay on TV, but there is! So I say, next time you start to realize that someone is a compulsive liar, go with it, enjoy it, and remember you can always trust that they wont be telling the truth!

When Laundry Becomes "UnFun"

I had a conversation with a twelve year old today (shocker). It went like this:

Kid: I have to do laundry
Me: Why did you run out of clean clothes?
Kid: Yeah, and I asked my mom when she was going to do my laundry and she said, "If you want it so badly do it yourself."
Me: Hahaha! I bet you wish you didn't ask that now, right?
Kid: NO!! I am so excited, I always wanted to do my laundry, have my own little basket and walk down the street...

It got me thinking, when exactly does laundry become a fun activity? And then how long after that does reality sink in and laundry becomes something that you dread each week? When does laundry become something that forces you to go to the store and buy new socks just to prolong the activity for a few more days? And just when does the idea of doing laundry become so bad that you would rather make the worst decision of your life and turn a pair of boxers inside out?

When I was in camp I couldn't wait until my year as the oldest bunk. The oldest girls had everything. They had the overnight trips, they were significantly taller, prettier, and cooler than the rest of us, the boys liked them, and most importantly, once a week they got to leave camp to go to a laundry mat to do their own laundry. Now granted, the largest appeal here was that you could leave camp, get ice cream, and see civilization, but for some reason the oldest girls would also legitimately enjoy doing their laundry. They would not send their laundry to the cleaning service that did it for us and would save it up to do their own.

During my last year at camp I came to the realization that at least one of the reasons for this was because you were finally fed up with receiving someone elses underwear in your clean laundry and then at the same time horrified that one of yours had gone missing. Going out to do your own laundry saved your from weekly panic attacks when you thought that a boy from our brother camp could have gotten your teeny bra with your name tag stitched into it like a scarlet letter. Those outings were more than just laundry, ice cream, and the equivalent of a free Valium, they were our time to be grown up and bond.

The charm would last for about two weeks when you returned home, until you realized that having mom wash and fold your laundry was a much more attractive notion. So, why was it that during the 98 degree dog days of summer in Massachusetts would us girls patiently wait for our exciting outing to a sweltering laundry mat? What was it that made us as excited as the 12 year old I talked to today?

The answer is: rarity. It's the same reason that my mom always says, "Bring home your laundry I would love to do it for you, I miss it" and then promptly changes her mind when I inhabit the house for more than three days. Her mantra then turns into an evil hissing snake when it becomes, "Pretend like you are at your apartment and I am not here, who does your laundry then?" or "Sure, you can do your laundry, you know where the machine is." When laundry becomes an sporadic practice it doesn't suck to have to do it, it almost seems like a treat. However, the moment it becomes a chore, the cold sweats of camp days past returns and you will stop at nothing to prolong the activity.

Who Knew?

Who knew I was a born Jazz lover? I mean I always knew deep down inside, but it took me a while to refine my taste and then really figure out that this was the music I loved the best. It all started with Nina Simone and then moved onto more current versions like Corrine Baily Rae and Amy Winehouse, but today I found the most wonderful Jazz artist. Not only is she a great singer, but she has an inspiring story to back all her soul up.

Melody Gardot, like Kanye, started her music career after being in a serious car accidentt. At 19, it looked as though fashion student Melody wouldn't be walking, talking, and certainly not singing anytime soon. However, listen to her music today and one can clearly see that she overcame all of those things to create a wonderful, soulful, smoky, sultry career.

For months I have been asking everyone, "What kind of music do they play at Pottery Barn?" I knew all of the classic Jazz and Blues artists, but I wanted to know who sang the new stuff and what it was being categorized as. Today I learned...I am a Jazz girl, and Melody Gardot taught me that!