
He’s Just Not That Into You…the work of the devil himself.
Want to read a book by Satan ladies? I really never wanted to read this book, my gut reaction told me not to, but of course I gave in like most girls would because I just needed to know all the secrets of the male mind! I mean if I could figure out if a guy liked me before putting in all the leg work (and I don’t mean only showing a little leg, but also all the emotional work that goes into getting a boy as well!) imagine all the time that I would not have to waste! I just had to read the book didn’t I? My first gut instinct screamed, “NO DON’T READ IT!! You think you are paranoid now? Why not read a book that makes you overanalyze EVERY little thing a guy says and does! Oh yeah that will do wonders for your social life!” Look, I won’t lie, I have a semi-compulsive personality, and so this book was an even worse idea for me to read!
Wasting time on a pointless relationship is every girl’s worst nightmare, putting time, effort and feelings into it and then eventually getting nothing out of it, could you really think of anything worse?! I mean think of all those countless hours spent driving by his place with your friends. All of that for nothing? (Once again I must digress and think my lovely friend saying, “His light is on! Where is he?! Why isn't he calling me?”) Who wouldn’t want to know the secrets that might save all of us some wasted time…however, every story has two parts to it, yes I will learn all of the “secrets of the male mind”, but am I really supposed to know these things? Will it help me at all, or will it just be an example what happens when we open Pandora’s box? Well, I read the book, and let me tell you, Pandora had the right idea keeping that box locked up tight, what idiot would want to open it?!
So just to warn any girl out there that is thinking they want to empower themselves by reading this book, and that, yeah it might make you a little paranoid for about a week and then you will get over it. If you have any sort of compulsion…DON’T READ THIS BOOK! I’m just not that into it! This is what I learned: 1) don’t call a guy, ever, he should always call you, if he doesn’t always call you, he’s just not that into you. 2) Never pursue a guy, they don’t like it, you should sit around and wait for them to chase you, they like that. If you have to make the first move, he isn’t shy; he’s just not that into you. 3) Guys are never busy, if they say they are busy, they are just not that into you, no matter what is going on in their lives, they are never busy. Ok, so now I’m paranoid beyond belief. I can’t call a guy anymore because I am not supposed to, but then he may think that I AM just not that into HIM, and that’s a whole other disaster in itself. Along with the feeling of paranoia, now I’m also totally confused. Lets face it; the only bible that I’m living by is Cosmo and the surveys in Maxim! Cosmo and Maxim tell me guys love assertive girls that will just take the reins and show him who is boss every once in a while, but now “Happily Married” Greg (that’s the author extraordinaire) tells me NO NO NO, boys like the chase and lose interest when they don’t have to be the ones putting in all the effort. People of the mass media world can’t you all get together and have a meeting and just MAKE SENSE?! Please! I mean really, was your main goal to make little Beth even more confused when it comes to guys?! As if god gracing me with no game wasn’t enough!
You know what “Happily Married”? I’m just not that into you…whadda ya think of them apples?! Now that I have come to the conclusion that every aspect of mass media is giving me a different story, I think I’ll stick to my "no game" and just say screw it! No better yet, I am never going to read another self-help book and I will also vow to watch Brittney and Kevin: Chaotic religiously while I wait for my own personal back up dancer to dance his way into my life so I can have a wonderfully dysfunctional love like theirs!
"Happily Married" Greg… Who wouldn’t want a gross back up dancer living off your money? Hmmm….he better like PB & J a lot with my salary!
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