I Was Told There'd be Cake

Sloane Crosley wrote a collection of short stories in her book, I Was Told There'd be Cake. In one story she talks about her fear of dying, she worries if she were to drop dead unexpectedly what people would think of her pony collection in her apartment. It got me thinking...what would I be most embarrassed for people to find in my apartment if I were to drop dead unexpectedly? Living in NYC this isn't necessarily such an out of the question fear. I mean, who isn't afraid that one day someone will just push you onto the subway tracks? Or even more likely to happen you either a) get hit by an erratic cab driver or b) you get into a car crash with an erratic cab driver.

Side note: Who are those cab drivers talking to on their cellphones at all hours of the night? Even if they are benefited by a time difference back in their hometown, who could possibly be free enough to talk to someone all day long? I am sure my boss wouldn't appreciate my being on the phone non-stop...of course, I have students to teach, so I might be at a slight disadvantage. Once I asked a friend what he thought the cab drivers were doing, I can't remember if it was my response or his that offered up the idea that the cab drivers may be dictating a book, while the call recipient types it all up. Hmmm...Maybe I should start driving a cab, I could get so much work done, while working.

But I digress. What would I most be ashamed for someone to find in my apartment? Despite my strong need to have to clean almost every single day, I might be worried about someone finding dishes in my sink, or someone finding my bed unmade. But I know the one thing I would be most embarrassed about would be my massive collection of duvet covers, I mean, to be honest, I am not even sure how many I have anymore...and I am scared to take an actual inventory.

Who really needs more than one duvet cover anyways? The collection all started with very simple justifications. First I would need a one bright colored duvet for spring and a white duvet cover for winter (it was a winter white and matched the snow falling outside). Then the justifications became a little more disjointed, now I needed a duvet cover for fall, after all Halloween and Thanksgiving were my favorite holiday's, how could I not have an orange duvet cover to show my love for the season? Plus, I needed it for my Halloween party, everything needed to be coordinated.

Next I bought a summer quilt, this purchase however was in fact practical, after all I couldn't keep my down comforter on all year long, I was no longer in chilly Syracuse. Then, in a fit of boredom and inspiration (the inspiration stemming from a local Italian restaurant that opened up recently who had painted their outside facade in what I thought was the perfect yellow) I painted an accent wall in a pale yellow. Now my summer quilt no longer really matched the decor of my apartment. (To this day I am not sure if I did this to myself on purpose, addicts do have a hard time telling if they cause their own problems or not.) I searched high and low...well not really, all I did was open up my pottery barn catalogue and find the perfect match! A yellow, beachy duvet cover. PERFECT! Now I had a summer duvet cover that I would put over the summer quilt, albeit never actually sleeping under the duvet because that just wouldn't make sense!

Next I opted to get yet another duvet cover to replace my old winter duvet cover, it was 3 years old, and now matter how many times I would wash it (or more likely, how many times my mother washed it) the love was just no longer there...I mean, the white...the white was no longer there, there is no way I would just aimlessly buy a new duvet that I didn't need right? WRONG, I WAS AN ADDICT OF COURSE I WOULD! As soon as I saw the white duvet cover with little flowers crawling up one side I needed to have it. I needed a new duvet like most people needed air, I knew I just wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably again until it was on my bed! So, I asked for a new duvet for the holidays and a new duvet I did receive.

Then my friend who is the ONLY U.S. bedding designer for Lacoste gifted me with yet another duvet...which now will become my "cold/beginning spring duvet". The rationale of that one even escapes me. You know you have a problem when even you cannot convince yourself that it is okay to give into the burn...

So at the end of the day I now have 2 winter duvets, one fall duvet, one beginning of the spring duvet, one end of the spring duvet, and one summer quilt and one summer duvet cover (which I never sleep under)...but watch out Bed, Bath, and Beyond...I am about to paint my apartment again, so it is only a matter of time before I give into the need and visit you for yet another fix!